In Baltiless, even the shorties are against you

Worry not loyal readers, for we did not succumb to Baltiless' many charms.

But the cards may be stacked against us, as is demonstrated by the following email, sent out by our building security staff. The text is verbatim, although the employer is hidden to avoid further retribution.

It's like Lord of the Flies, except the children don't even bother attacking each other anymore.

SECURITY INFORMATION BULLETIN

DATE/TIME:
Friday, June 15, 2007
9:45 a.m.

INCIDENT:
Assault

LOCATION:
Rear of Dunbar Middle School near Central Avenue

DESCRIPTION OF SUSPECT:
African American Male
10-13 Years of Age

DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT: A male staff member parked his car off campus in the 700 block of Central Avenue and began walking eastbound through the area to the rear of Dunbar Middle School. He was struck in the back of the head with a rock by a juvenile who then fled. Staff members are advised to contact Security immediately if they see any suspicious persons or activity.