Monday, March 16, 2009

Overheard in Baltiless II

I'm waiting in a lobby with a heavily pregnant young lady, her two children- both very loud, both under seven- and her mother. Though at first, I try to chill out and focus on my book, between the antics of the family across from me and CNN blaring on the TV, I quickly give up. Evidently, the mother and grandmother are avid followers of current events, because when Obama appears on TV, both begin excitedly hollerin' "There's Obammy! There's Obammy!" The children eagerly join in the chant and, in his glee, the boy knocks over a chair and rolls around on the floor. When they show a shot of Biden, the mother astutely notices the cross marked on his forehead for Ash Wednesday. After puzzling over this for a few minutes, she and the grandmother eventually determine that it's probably a birthmark, but maybe a burn.

As her daughter industriously rips the leaves off of a potted plant and throws them onto the floor, mere et fils begin discussing one of the youngsters in his class, a young man named Eggnog. Her son is intrigued by this name (as am I) and wants to know what it means; fortunately his mother has the inside scoop. "Eggnog is a drink, and his mom named him that because that's what she was drinking when he was born."

By way of answer, her son notices something floating in his cup of soda, and upends the entire thing onto the carpet.

Confidential to the literate population: I don't care what your thoughts are on zero population growth. Please reproduce. We need you.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

File under: Pictures that I will hate myself for the rest of my life for not taking; Baltiless entrepreneurship

For several weeks, every day on the way to work, I passed by a certain telephone pole with an unusual professionally-printed sign attached to it. Every day, I swore I'd remember my camera and take a picture tomorrow. Alas, one day the sign was removed before I got a picture. Here is a re-creation, text verbatim:

No title needed! Wow! How convenient! This will be totally sweet for all those times I impulsively decide to sell my car and don't feel like going home to get the title!

Is there a legit application that I'm missing?

NB: The phone number is a fabrication, apologies to any interested parties.